my place.
I know my blog is dead. Rarely, or never has pictures. I blog boring stuffs. Still, I love to blog eventhough I know there might even be nobody reading my blog.
Oh well, I blog to express anyway. Not to impress.
So if you find my blog is boring and lame or too emo, dont bother criticising because I wont give a shit about it.
{ Friday, April 17, 2009
12:52 AM }
I dont feel like talking tonight because I think I might either just blow up or break down I dont know why. I dont feel like talking to anybody, even Ib, I dont know why. I want to be alone. My mind is killing me because it cant stop thinking and the thinking is all and everything bad and negative about everybody. I feel so depressed I dont know why I cant figure out how to stop this. I am feeling so damn fucking emotional. I just want to scream or kill someone because I'm mad but I also want to breakdown and cry and I never fail to scratch myself when this happens. I do not know what the hell is happening to me but this frequently happens, especially when I'm alone. And tell me why the hell am I still looking at her friendster even after everything is settled and everything was his past and I thought I wont care anymore but tonight, his past is somehow haunting me that I feel like smashing my laptop screen with her face smiling on it. Bloody hell I feel so haunted by the past. Then now brother is home and I asked him to do me a favour but I can see it clearly that he is fucking lazy to help me. Tell me what am I supposed to do. Tell me. My brain is fucking thinking too much I want to cry.
Knock some sense into me now, please.
Life has always been a huge roller coaster ride for me, full of ups and downs, making me start to get tired of it.
I feel like getting love drunk, falling into this beautiful dream and not coming out to face the reality.
